10 Kеу Hаbitѕ Of Hарру аnd Strоng Cоuрlеѕ In Relationship

10 Kеу Hаbitѕ Of Hарру аnd Strоng Cоuрlеѕ

10 Kеу Hаbitѕ Of Hарру аnd Strоng Cоuрlеѕ In Relationship

Habits will always hаvе a huge imрасt оn your еvеrу relationship. Thiѕ iѕ whу it’ѕ еxtrеmеlу imроrtаnt tо create роѕitivе habits with уоur partner. Hеrе аrе 10 kеу hаbitѕ thаt уоu саn follow if уоu want tо hаvе a hарру аnd ѕtrоng relationship.

Snugglе
Mаkе ѕurе tо ѕnugglе a bit before уоu ѕtаrt оff your dау and before уоu gо tо bеd. Simрlу taking a few minutes tо hоld each оthеr in bеd in thе mornings and еvеningѕ will improve bоth уоurѕ and уоur раrtnеr’ѕ mооd.

Cultivаtе Common Intеrеѕtѕ
A lоt of соuрlеѕ have only a fеw intеrеѕtѕ in соmmоn. Evеn if you dоn’t hаvе any interests in соmmоn, you should tаkе the timе tо dеvеlор thеm. However, just like it’s important tо ѕhаrе a few intеrеѕtѕ with уоur partner, it’ѕ аlѕо crucial that уоu hаvе intеrеѕtѕ оf уоur оwn. Thiѕ will mаkе уоu bе more intеrеѕting tо уоur раrtnеr аnd уоu will аvоid bесоming too dependent.

Rеѕресt
Shоwing respect to уоur partner is оnе of the best hаbitѕ that уоu саn develop. Rеѕресting your partner iѕ extremely imроrtаnt if you want tо сrеаtе a hеаlthу аnd strong соnnесtiоn. Hаving rеѕресt fоr уоur раrtnеr means that уоu value them fоr whо you trulу are.

Share A Rituаl
Sharing a rituаl with your partner will hеlр kеер уоur rеlаtiоnѕhiр healthy. Having a ritual mеаnѕ thаt уоu will get to spend timе with уоur partner dоing ѕоmеthing that you both enjoy еvеrу dау. This саn bе аѕ ѕimрlе аѕ tаlking a wаlk in the еvеning, going to thе gуm tоgеthеr, оr hаving a сuр оf соffее in thе morning.

Hаndlе Individual Prоblеmѕ Aѕ A Tеаm
Hарру соuрlеѕ оftеn work together аѕ a tеаm in order to ѕоlvе individuаl рrоblеmѕ more efficiently. Remember that you ѕhоuld nеvеr bе аfrаid tо аѕk your partner fоr help. If уоu’rе in a happy and lоving rеlаtiоnѕhiр, then уоur раrtnеr will do еvеrуthing in thеir роwеr to hеlр уоu.

Be Generous With Compliments
Evеrуоnе loves gеtting соmрlimеntѕ, еѕресiаllу if thеу’rе соming frоm a реrѕоn whо thеу love аnd rеѕресt. It doesn’t matter hоw lоng уоu twо аrе tоgеthеr, it’ѕ аlwауѕ a gооd idea tо give your partner compliments.

Fight Fаir
Every соuрlе will hаvе diѕаgrееmеntѕ еvеrу nоw аnd then. Remember thаt diѕаgrееing оvеr something iѕ соmрlеtеlу nоrmаl and iѕ part оf every hеаlthу relationship. Hоwеvеr, it’ѕ hоw уоu hаndlе thе diѕаgrееmеntѕ that will set уоu apart from the unhарру соuрlеѕ. Yоu ѕhоuld viеw diѕаgrееmеntѕ аѕ opportunities to рrасtiсе hоw уоu resolve соnfliсtѕ.

Focus On The Thingѕ Yоu Likе Abоut Your Pаrtnеr
Many реорlе tend to focus оn thingѕ thаt thеу don’t likе аbоut thеir раrtnеr, which еvеntuаllу саuѕеѕ thеm tо wаnt to еnd thе relationship. Inѕtеаd, couples should hаvе a роѕitivе реrѕресtivе on thе rеlаtiоnѕhiр. However, knоw thаt this doesn’t mean уоu should ignоrе уоur раrtnеr’ѕ bаd hаbitѕ. If уоu hаvе a problem with a раrt оf your раrtnеr’ѕ bеhаviоr, уоu ѕhоuld bring it to their attention in a wаrm wау аnd attempt tо resolve уоur diffеrеnсеѕ in a lоving wау.

Cоmmuniсаtiоn
You ѕhоuld nеvеr expect your partner to be able tо rеаd your mind. Cоmmuniсаtiоn is key in every ѕtrоng rеlаtiоnѕhiр between couples. You ѕhоuld always diѕсuѕѕ your nееdѕ ореnlу inѕtеаd оf hoping fоr уоur раrtnеr will аlwауѕ knоw what уоu need.

Set Aside Time Tо Rесоnnесt
Most couples can’t kеер thеir hаndѕ оff еасh other at thе bеgging оf a rеlаtiоnѕhiр. Hоwеvеr, they ѕреnd mоrе timе араrt thаn together lаtеr оn. If уоu wаnt tо hаvе a ѕtrоng rеlаtiоnѕhiр with ѕоmеоnе thеn you nееd to find a wау tо set аѕidе timе tо rесоnnесt rеgulаrlу.

10 Kеу Hаbitѕ Of Hарру аnd Strоng Cоuрlеѕ
10 Kеу Hаbitѕ Of Hарру аnd Strоng Cоuрlеѕ

4 Attributes Of A Healthy-Relationship.

4 Attributes Of A Healthy-Relationship.

4 Attributes Of A Healthy-Relationship.

Every day as we routinely check our social media platforms, we are fed images of “goal couples.”  So What are the attributes that make for a healthy-relationship? Essentially, they display qualities that are admirable; even worthy of our envy. Despite the glamour, they give off, the truth of celebrity relationships is often met with dense realities.

When it comes to real-world relationships, the struggle to maintain healthy-relationships is quite difficult with the endless sources of temptation right at our fingertips. However, even amongst the chaos of love, there are set in stone qualities that make for a good relationship. Let us consider the four, must-have qualities that will help any relationship stand the test of time.

Honest Communication

Honesty between two people in love is imperative for the relationship to function correctly. Freely expressing all of your inner most feelings deepens the bond and keeps the relationship free from secrets, deceit, resentments and confusion all of which will ultimately ruin any relationship in the long run. Honest communication is vital even if it’s not what the other wants to hear. Sure, it’s tough taking in constructive criticism, but ultimately, it promotes growth and results in a healthy-relationship.

The Ability to Have Fun Together

Couples who enjoy spending recreational time together are more likely to maintain the longevity of their relationship. Engaging in fun activities with your partner helps to strengthen the bond of union. You create new and exciting memories that define the time spent together. This concept not only boosts morale, but it solidifies that your partner accepts you for you. We all need a break from the stressors of daily life. The ability to spend that fun time with your mate is priceless and results in a healthy-relationship.

Commitment

Commitment is key for any healthy relationship to function. Really it goes far beyond not cheating. Commitment means sticking together throughout the darkest of times. One helpless romantic once quoted, “ Love is an unconditional commitment to an imperfect person. To love somebody isn’t just a strong feeling. It is a decision, a judgment, and a promise.”

Like any goal worth meeting, there will be challenges and obstacles along the way. A healthy couple acknowledges that conflicts will arise, however, they commit to making the relationship endure. They work through their issues in order to reach a point of equilibrium.

Accepting Your Partner For Who They Are

It has been said that a mother’s love is unmatched. What constitutes this never-ending affection? It’s her ability to love her child despite their imperfections. Although the love shared between lovers is passionate, it must be built on that unconditional love.

The beauty of a healthy relationship is that those involved are different and respecting and accepting the real person that is your partner is key. Each person comes from a unique background and family structure. They each possess different interests, personality traits, and experiences.

Those in a healthy-relationship embrace their partner’s differences and they make the act of understanding their priority. Sure, one person may like vacationing in the mountains and the other at the beach. However, instead of criticizing their partner’s preference, they compromise. One year, they visit the beach and the next the mountains.

This same mentality is true when it comes to personality flaws. Nobody is perfect and if we live long enough, we’ll find a way to hurt our mate by our words or actions. Constant forgiveness, within reason, is vital for a relationship to remain healthy.

Maintaining a healthy relationship despite the challenges is an art. It takes commitment, understanding, and passion. Although our society is far from its chivalrous past, the qualities mentioned have remained. Cultivating these basic qualities will help for a meaningful and healthy relationship that lasts.

4 Attributes Of A Healthy-Relationship.
4 Attributes Of A Healthy-Relationship.

5 Surefire Tips In Developing Intimacy in Relationships

5 Surefire Tips In Developing Intimacy in Relationships

5 Surefire Tips In Developing Intimacy in Relationships

If you aim to develop intimacy in your relationship that will stand the test of time, then here are 5 surefire tips in developing intimacy in dating, marriage and relationship. Follow then and see your relationship blossom.

1. Non-Verbal Communication

Don’t forget that your partner uses non-verbal cues to speak to you, too. So, pay attention to their tone of voice, body language, their facial expressions, and gestures. This is all improving your emotional intelligence and in turn, it will improve your ability to be emotionally intimate.

2. Leaning Towards

Relationship experts John and Judy Gottman talk about “leaning towards” your partner. Do you lean towards, or turn away? To build emotional intimacy, you need to practise leaning towards.

One of the ways you can do this is to ask your partner specific questions about themselves, their life, and their interests. This tool is a helpful way to build bridges towards each other’s worlds. In partner conflict, the skills of non-violent communication help you continue to lean towards, even when your instincts might tell you to turn away.

3. Thanking, Acknowledging And Complimenting

Thanking, acknowledging and complimenting one another are further ways to support the growth of emotional intimacy. You are more likely to warm to each other when you are living in a supportive and positive environment.

Criticisms and put-downs are sure ways to create distance, withdrawal, defensiveness and shut-down, just the exact opposite of what you are wanting.

Remember that you can’t change other people. Focus on the things you love about your partner. Practise acceptance of the things you don’t.

4. Forgiveness

We all make mistakes – so if your partner makes one, don’t hold them hostage over it – forgive them and move on. If you can point it out without causing hurt, then you may proceed. Instead of looking for the negatives or their mistakes, instead look for the positives and compliment them on those. This is a sure way to deepen your relationship’s emotional intimacy.

Forgiveness is a big part of any relationship. It breaks down walls and heals old wounds, in your heart as well as your partner’s; it regenerates trust and paves the way for emotional intimacy to flourish. Practise forgiveness every day, not just for your partner but also for yourself. When you forgive others, your own heart is soothed. When you forgive yourself, you can experience inner peace.

5. Gratitude

Gratitude for everything you have together is a powerful healer. Being grateful for every little thing that is going well in your relationship can really build up strong feelings of mutual affection and closeness. Positivity breeds positivity. Practise telling each other at the end of each day, three things about them you feel grateful for. Ask them to do the same for you.

5 Surefire Tips In Developing Intimacy in Relationships
5 Surefire Tips In Developing Intimacy in Relationships

The Art Of Non-Violent Communication In Successful Dating

The Art Of Non-Violent Communication In Successful Dating

The Art Of Non-Violent Communication In Successful Dating

In understanding the art of non-violent communication for successful dating, it will be necessary to reference the work of psychologist Marshall Rosenberg, who was a student of the humanist Carl Rogers, himself a founder of client centred counselling. Rosenberg developed what he called Non-Violent Communication, a simple four step process that is based on identifying and expressing feelings and needs.

The aim is to build a heart-centred connection with the other person, regardless of whether other needs get met or not. Another of the things Rosenberg was passionate about was whether you are “making life wonderful” for others.

According to him, one of our common human needs is the desire to contribute, and so making life wonderful for others is a way to fulfill this need. Think about your partner; how much of the time are you considering how to “make life wonderful for them”, as opposed to thinking about how your partner can make life wonderful for you?!

What do you think would change in your relationship if you devoted yourself to making life wonderful for your partner? Take some time to journal about this.

Don’t inhibit yourself, just let the pen flow with whatever wants to come out. Then write about what would change if your partner devoted him or herself to making life wonderful for you. What have you learnt about yourself and your relationship by writing the answers to these questions down?

Communication is big. Huge, in fact. Rosenberg’s four step strategy of non-violent communication is an invaluable life skill, not just for intimate partner relations. You can use it for conflict resolution in the workplace, or with your children, and of course, with your spouse.

Steps To Non-Violent Communication

Step 1

State the facts of the situation, without evaluating it. For example, let’s take a silly scenario: Suppose your partner left the lid off the toothpaste, again.

If you were to say, “You’ve left a huge mess in the bathroom again: the lid is not on the toothpaste!”, it would be fair to say that this is your subjective evaluation of the situation.

However, if you said, “I notice you have left the lid off the toothpaste for the second time this week, John”, then this is a clear statement of the facts, (assuming John had, in fact, left the lid off the toothpaste two times in that particular week!).

Of course, this is a ridiculous example but hopefully you get the point. So, step 1, then requires you to state the facts of a given situation. Just the facts. No judgements, no embellishments, no personal interpretations. Just the facts.

Step 2

State your feelings. Start with, “I feel”. So, the story so far goes like this:

John, I see you left the lid off the toothpaste twice this week. When I notice this, I feel disappointed”.

Step 3

Identify and state your underlying need. Before we go any further, here are some lists* of common feelings and universal needs.

As human beings, we all have similar basic needs, so they are known as universal needs since they are common to all of us.

Look and see how many of the following feelings and needs are relevant to you.

Feelings When Your Needs Are Satisfied

AFFECTIONATE
compassionate
friendly
loving
open hearted
sympathetic
tender
warmENGAGED
absorbed
alert
curious
engrossed
enchanted
entranced
fascinated
interested
intrigued
involved
spellbound
stimulatedHOPEFUL
expectant
encouraged
optimistic
CONFIDENT
empowered
open
proud
safe
secureEXCITED
amazed
animated
ardent
aroused
astonished
dazzled
eager
energetic
enthusiastic
giddy
invigorated
lively
passionate
surprised
vibrant
GRATEFUL
appreciative
moved
thankful
touchedINSPIRED
amazed
awed
wonderJOYFUL
amused
delighted
glad
happy
jubilant
pleased
tickled

EXHILARATED
blissful
ecstatic
elated
enthralled
exuberant
radiant
rapturous
thrilled

PEACEFUL
calm
clear headed
comfortable
centered
content
equanimous
fulfilled
mellow
quiet
relaxed
relieved
satisfied
serene
still
tranquil
trustingREFRESHED
enlivened
rejuvenated
renewed
rested
restored
revived

Feelings When Your Needs Are Not Satisfied

AFRAID
apprehensive
dread
foreboding
frightened
mistrustful
panicked
petrified
scared
suspicious
terrified
wary
worriedANNOYED
aggravated
dismayed
disgruntled
displeased
exasperated
frustrated
impatient
irritated
irkedANGRY
enraged
furious
incensed
indignant
irate
livid
outraged
resentful

AVERSION
animosity
appalled
contempt
disgusted
dislike
hate
horrified
hostile
repulsed

CONFUSED
ambivalent
baffled
bewildered
dazed
hesitant
lost
mystified
perplexed
puzzled
tornDISCONNECTED
alienated
aloof
apathetic
bored
cold
detached
distant
distracted
indifferent
numb
removed
uninterested
withdrawnDISQUIET
agitated
alarmed
discombobulated
disconcerted
disturbed
perturbed
rattled
restless
shocked
startled
surprised
troubled
turbulent
turmoil
uncomfortable
uneasy
unnerved
unsettled
upset
EMBARRASSED
ashamed
chagrined
flustered
guilty
mortified
self-consciousFATIGUE
beat
burnt out
depleted
exhausted
lethargic
listless
sleepy
tired
weary
worn outPAIN
agony
anguished
bereaved
devastated
grief
heartbroken
hurt
lonely
miserable
regretful
remorseful

SAD
depressed
dejected
despair
despondent
disappointed
discouraged
disheartened
forlorn
gloomy
heavy hearted
hopeless
melancholy
unhappy
wretched

TENSE
anxious
cranky
distressed
distraught
edgy
fidgety
frazzled
irritable
jittery
nervous
overwhelmed
restless
stressed outVULNERABLE
fragile
guarded
helpless
insecure
leery
reserved
sensitive
shakyYEARNING
envious
jealous
longing
nostalgic
pining
wistful

 

Needs List

When someone in a relationship is angry or hurt it’s important to understand what need is being unmet and has led to this breakdown. Often, these issues go unresolved, which means there is an unidentified problem that could eventually cause resentment. Identify the problem and deal with it head on.

CONNECTION
acceptance
affection
appreciation
belonging
cooperation
communication
closeness
community
companionship
compassion
consideration
consistency
empathy
inclusion
intimacy
love
mutuality
nurturing
respect/self-respect
CONNECTION continued
safety
security
stability
support
to know and be known
to see and be seen
to understand and
be understood
trust
warmthPHYSICAL WELL-BEING
air
food
movement/exercise
rest/sleep
sexual expression
safety
shelter
touch
water
HONESTY
authenticity
integrity
presencePLAY
joy
humorPEACE
beauty
communion
ease
equality
harmony
inspiration
order

AUTONOMY
choice
freedom
independence
space
spontaneity

MEANING
awareness
celebration of life
challenge
clarity
competence
consciousness
contribution
creativity
discovery
efficacy
effectiveness
growth
hope
learning
mourning
participation
purpose
self-expression
stimulation
understanding

Lists Source: (c) 2005 by Center for Nonviolent Communication; www.cnvc.org 

Use the lists to help you learn about and identify your feelings and needs. In the toothpaste lid scenario, what could your underlying need be? Remember that the lists are not exhaustive. Perhaps you really value orderliness, or hygiene, or a harmonious environment, an aesthetic sense of beauty and calm, or cleanliness? Perhaps you value all of these?

So, by now your statement is looking like this: John, I see you left the lid off the toothpaste twice this week. When I notice this, I feel disappointed, because I really value (or, I really need), a clean and beautiful environment.”

Step 4

This is where you make a request of your partner. The bottom line of the entire exercise is to bring about a deepened sense of heart-centred connection (aka emotional intimacy) between you and your partner.

Remember that you may not necessarily get your needs met by your partner even though you make a request. In this case, you will learn about self-soothing, self empathy and compassion, which increases your connection to yourself.

Your request to your partner will be something doable, and specific. It will often start with the words, “Would you be willing to….”. Or, you could equally ask, “How do you feel when you hear me say this?”

Our scenario could now look like this: John, I see you left the lid off the toothpaste twice this week (Step 1, stating facts). When I notice this, I feel disappointed (Step 2, stating feelings), because I really value (or, I really need), a clean and beautiful environment (Step 3 stating needs). Would you be willing to consider this next time you use the toothpaste? (Step 4, making a request). I would love it if you would put the lid on!”

There is a lot to learn in order to use non-violent communication effectively, and the best way to learn is by putting it into practice. The miracle of non-violent communication is, that when you become more intimately connected to your partner, and acknowledge each other’s feelings and needs, solutions to problems often arise spontaneously.

When Your Partner Cannot Meet Your Needs

Realizing that your partner is only human can be a big help in establishing more emotional intimacy. No one can meet all the needs of another. So, when your partner inevitably falls short, instead of feeling hurt and angry, which will only create distance between you both, you can practise self-soothing.

You can do this by placing one hand over your heart and breathing into that area for a few moments. Say to yourself something long the lines of, “Jenny can’t help me right now, and that is ok. I can send myself the love and compassion I need right now”.

Then imagine sending yourself love and compassion. You may picture it as a pink or golden glow flooding to your heart, and gently surrounding it. Remember to breathe deeply into your belly and feel calmer as you do so. Consider other ways to get your needs met.

Empathy

A big ingredient in non-violent communication is empathy. Empathy is the ability to understand and share the feelings of your partner.

Self-soothing is like having empathy for yourself. Next time your partner is frustrated or upset, try practising having empathy for them. See if you can understand where they are coming from.

Can you see why they would feel that way? Can you keep your heart open and feeling compassionate towards them because you understand their situation? Then you are experiencing empathy.

Non-Verbal Communication

Don’t forget that your partner uses non-verbal cues to speak to you, too. So, pay attention to their tone of voice, body language, their facial expressions, and gestures. This is all improving your emotional intelligence and in turn, it will improve your ability to be emotionally intimate.

 

The Art Of Non-Violent Communication In Successful Dating
The Art Of Non-Violent Communication In Successful Dating

What Does Emotional Intimacy Really Mean?

What Does Emotional Intimacy Really Mean?

What Does Emotional-Intimacy Really Mean?

What does emotional-intimacy really mean? The easiest way to explain this is with the word empathy. There is a shared sense of it, a closeness, and whether you are in a romantic or platonic relationship, you feel able to show the other person affection, share your deepest feelings and darkest thoughts, and you don’t worry that they will jump to judgement.

Truly, emotional intimacy is present when someone is able to read you like a book and still want to continue the story. You are fully transparent to them and they’re happy to look at the view. If you have a romantic partner than also happens to be your best friend, well, this is a sign that you have created the perfect combination of intimacy, physically and emotionally.

It is possible to have emotional-intimacy with your friends, your romantic interests, and even members of your family. In fact, some people believe they have achieved this feeling with a pet. It’s an important aspect of physical and mental health – but it runs even deeper.

In terms of emotional intimacy, it can feel as though the experiences you go through are shared and understanding when you find yourself in certain positions how the other person would view them. That sounds wonderful, doesn’t it?

But, what if you find it difficult to get close to people? If emotional-intimacy is terrifying to you, there is hope – there are plenty of ways you can improve the emotional-intimacy in your relationships.

1.The Root

What is it that makes you push people away? What is stopping you from opening up and feeling intimacy with others? There could be a wide variety of reasons, whether someone has broken your trust before, you grew up in a home that wasn’t filled with affection, and you are just naturally cynical. No matter what your reason is, figure it out and think about it. Your reasons for it are very real, particularly to you, and it’s affecting your ability to get comfortable with others.

2.Take It Step By Step

When you start to behave differently, you can start to feel differently. So, while you may not feel relaxed or interested in intimacy, you can make little changes to improve that. If you are in a romantic relationship, you can start this by hugging them at moments where you wouldn’t normally hug. Perhaps before you, or they, leave for work or upon your return home.

When you think about it, there’s a good chance that the only time you physically touch others is during the act of sex. You can feel closer to each other if you increase your non-sexual touching. You will discover in no time that you feel closer and the non-sexual touching just becomes a habit. It may not feel natural initially but keep at it and it will become second nature. Take it one step at a time, a sudden change may be too much.

3.Understand The Difference Between Physical & Emotional Intimacy

For a lot of men, it’s easy to disconnect their feelings from the act of sex. Women, though, often feel that sex stems from intimacy. While this isn’t the same for everyone, it’s common for people to think that by being physically intimate they will be able to achieve emotional intimacy. While they may be related, that is simply untrue. It’s difficult to enjoy physical intimacy within a relationship when you and your partner aren’t truly connected. You must build that emotional-intimacy outside of the bedroom.

4.Small Disclosures

You have probably met someone who offered up big pieces of information about themselves and all at once. It’s like word vomit, and it is far too much way too soon. These types of people, though, are often strangers. They tell you all about their life, their hopes and dreams, even their anxieties, but they feel comfortable doing so because their expectation is that they will never see you again. You can rest easy knowing that person probably struggles with emotional-intimacy just as much, if not more, than you do.

You don’t need to drop your life story all at once – but you should offer up small disclosures over time. You should share what you think about things, and share information about who you are, and what led you to become who you are today. Don’t be afraid to share your hopes and dreams.

5.Don’t Try Too Hard

That being said… don’t get caught trying too hard either. If you overdo it you might just drive everyone away, be relaxed about sharing and making connections. Don’t go asking people a million questions, especially if you wouldn’t react well to those. Provide people with the space they need and allow intimacy a chance to build.

6.No Judgement

If you discovered that your root issue relates to previous hurt, this point is incredibly important. You are vulnerable and that can make you judge everyone by the same behavior that your past pain was caused by. It’s a bit like fight of flight – your unconscious mind is trying to protect you. Sometimes, though, it backfires and derails you from getting to know people. It leaves you with a belief that everyone will hurt you or let you down. Start training your unconscious mind to break the cycle by writing down all the ways a certain person is from the people who caused you hurt in the past.

7.The Exception

It’s easy to feel hopeless when you label yourself as emotionally stunted or unable to achieve emotional-intimacy. These problems are rarely absolute, so think about when you have been close to someone else, whether it’s your dog, a friend from childhood or a member of your family. How did it feel to be so close to someone, what did it bring you? Imagine that feeling with others.

 

What Does Emotional Intimacy Really Mean?
What Does Emotional Intimacy Really Mean?

How To Manage Emotional Intimacy In A Relationship.

How-To-Manage-Emotional-Intimacy-In-A-Relationship

How To Manage Emotional Intimacy In A Relationship.

How do you manage Emotional Intimacy in a relationship? Do you really know what intimacy is? Many people are under the mistaken impression that it’s about romance, yet… intimacy is (or should be) a feature in every type of relationship. It simply means to make known, which means that you allow yourself to be truly known to those closest in your life, and in turn, you make the effort to truly know them.

While you can survive without intimacy, you certainly cannot thrive in the way you deserve. If you don’t allow yourself to connect with the people in your life you may grow lonely, become anxious, depressed, and potentially experience health problems, which may include an early death. Are you afraid of emotional intimacy? Here are some of the big signs that you are.

You’re Kind Of A Workaholic

Often, we brag about our dedication to our jobs and careers- but it could be a sign that you’re afraid of intimacy. Not only that but working long hours is rough on your physical health, too. While there are some jobs that may demand excess hours, for the most part, the people who bury themselves in their work do so as a choice. They are trying to avoid feelings of anger, sadness or shame. They do this by keeping busy, they can ignore their feelings easily and pretend they don’t exist. This is true even for those people in established relationships. It’s easy to get into a rut and for that routine to prevent intimacy. Why not have a weekly date night? This can be with your partner or a good friend you don’t see enough of. Do activities that you enjoy, but make sure the other person also enjoys them, you can always take turns choosing. Just be sure your phones are off, and you are focused on each other.

 

How-To-Manage-Emotional-Intimacy-In-A-Relationship
How-To-Manage-Emotional-Intimacy-In-A-Relationship

You Won’t Share Friends

Do you have a partner that you refuse to introduce to friends and family? You are definitely afraid of emotional intimacy. If you keep your life segmented, you are hiding pieces of who you are from different groups of people in your life. This could be due to anxiety or a self-esteem problem, but the reason doesn’t matter. The issue is that you are unwilling to open your life and show them who you are on a deeper level. If this is all new to you, start with one person at a time and start breaking down your walls. It may be easier to do it in increments than by starting with a group, though… there is safety in groups and if the idea of sitting with your partner, parents, and yourself is terrifying, perhaps introducing your larger friend group on a casual night out may be the easier first step. It’s up to you.

Your History Proves It

Take a look at your history… is there a stream of broken platonic and romantic relationships? What happened? No one can say for sure, they just… didn’t work out. It might be your fear of emotional intimacy that caused this. While the thought of identifying negative patterns on your behalf isn’t the most pleasant thought, it might be a good way to break the hold your fear has over you.

Do you prefer to spend time in groups, avoiding spending one-on-one time with anyone? When you do spend time with someone do you choose activities that involve as little conversation as possible? You may have a fear of emotional intimacy. These fears run deep and often, you may find that the roots are in your childhood.

If you think this is a problem you’re experiencing you may want to consider reaching out to a therapist who can help you determine the root cause of the problem, which will help you eradicate your issues and allow you to flourish in life.